


best decision

by haolsa



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Getting Back Together, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, jaehyun pov, jaehyun-centered, jaewin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 18:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18922204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haolsa/pseuds/haolsa
Summary: sicheng suddenly walks out from jaehyun life, leaving him heartbroken.but one day he suddenly back to the city, and jaehyun decide he needs to have a proper talk with sicheng as his heart still longing to be with himwritten in first-person point of view, aka jaehyun pov





	best decision

**Author's Note:**

> hi! its alsa, reading all the fics on jaewin tag make me want to write some angst too, but i still cant handle sad / open ending, so here we go! i really just got the inspirations in the shower and wrote it today, so i didnt really think through sdfgdshjfs
> 
> as always i just write to lowkey satisfy my needs, soo hope you enjoy!!♡

Me and Sicheng was laying down in my bedroom. He lays down beside me, having my arms wrapped up around him. Sicheng seems restless ever since he came here today. He’s apparently having a small conversation with my mum before heading to my bedroom. My parents can’t be called the most supportive parents ever, they think money is everything, and everything can be solved by it. I’ll never understand their minds actually. So knowing my mum talks to Sicheng make me feel scared too. I wonder what conversation they’re having to make Sicheng this restless beside me.

“Jaehyun.” Sicheng’s voice deep and low calling my name.

“Yeah baby?” I take a look at him, startled that he suddenly got up and get ready to get home already. “Where are you going Sicheng? Aren’t you gonna stay the night?”

“I can’t Jae. I’m sorry.” Sicheng slowly shaking his head while scrambling to take every thing he got in my room.

“Sicheng? Are you okay?” I immediately got up too and walk towards him.

“No Jaehyun, I’m not. I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. I have to go from here. I have to go…” Sicheng trails with his words. “I have to go from your life too.”

Sicheng words struck my heart. I just don’t get why he suddenly said that. We were fine, we are fine. We going through our day like how we usually do. We’re not arguing, we’re not fighting, so hearing that out of the blue makes me feel so upset and confused.

“What do you mean Sicheng?” I try to reach out to him but he didn’t let me. “I thought we’re fine.”

“We’re indeed fine Jaehyun, its just me.” Sicheng looks so small and he’s shaking. I really want to protect him from whatever thought he’s having inside his mind. I don’t want to lose him this easily.

“I thought you love me Sicheng.” I almost whispered those words.

“I used to. Guess I just fall out of love from you. I don’t love you anymore Jaehyun. I need to go from your life, I don’t want to make you hurt even further.” Sicheng’s voice now shaking too. I don’t want to believe every words he just said. It can’t be true.

“You’re lying. Are you really fine Sicheng? Did anything bother you? Did my mum say anything to you?” I make my way getting closer to him, but Sicheng keeps his distance from me.

“Please respect my decision Jaehyun, I’m so sorry. I just can’t do this.” Sicheng slowly walks away and turn his back on me.

“Are you just gonna walk away from me like this Sicheng? Are you gonna leave me heartbroken never knowing the real reason why you did this to me? You know I’ll do anything just to be with you.” I voice my thought.

I’m sorry is the only two words I got from Sicheng before he really disappears from my life.

The next day, my dad suddenly wants to have a talk with me. I was mourning and cry all night long the night before, so it definitely not a good time to have a talk, especially if it’s a business matters, which also apparently the only topics he would talk with me about.

“Sir, your father wants to meet you downstairs.” Mr. Song opens up my door and opens up the curtain to let the sun lights went in to my room.

“You could’ve knocked first.”

“I’m sorry sir. But I guess its an important matter.” Mr. Song bows down, and quickly exits my room.

I groans as I woke up, not wanting to do anything today. Last night event indeed drains all the energy I had. I’m so heartbroken that I couldn’t function properly. I’m mumbling some complains as I got down the stairs. My parents wait for me already on the living room.

“Honey, are you okay?” My mum immediately went to me and check on my face. Well guess my puffy eyes really stole all the attentions.

“As if you care.” I glare at her, not wanting to keep up with all the fake attention she got for me. I guess all the words Sicheng told me last night is because of her though.

“Jaehyun, you know I care so much about you.” My mum start to caress my face. “Is this because of your foreign poor boyfriend?”

“You have no rights to call Sicheng that. He cares about me much more than you ever do in my whole life.” I swat her hands of me, I’m so done with all her dramas. “Can we just get into whatever reason you called me for? I’m busy."

“Jaehyun, sit down son.” My dad who just watched that whole things finally said some words.

I walked pass my mum and immediately sits down across my dad. I could hear my mum huffs and make her way to sits next to my dad again.

“I just have some talks with your mum last night. And we decide to just give my business later to your little brother instead of you. I noticed you’re not willing to inherit that either, so I guess its for the best. You could pick anything you want from now on. And even if you want to moved out from here, just pick some apartments and I’ll give you the money.” My dad concludes it all and take a sips at his morning tea.

“Suddenly?”

“This takes much consideration Jaehyun, its not a sudden decision we make. So you agree with all this?” My dad looks at me right in my eyes.

“That’s all I want, of course I agree. Now if you excuse me, I’m gonna start to look for a new apartment.” I storms out of there as quickly as I could.

Well guess there’s always rainbow after storms.

 

* * *

 

I have an interview today, and guess I did pretty well even though my anxiety starts to kicks in during the interview. Life lesson I learn during my university day is to start working with some people and learn from them before finally developing those skills and apply that for our own, and that’s what I do. After graduating from Communicating Major, I decide to start applying job, even though after I moved out, my parents haven’t stop sending me money. They stop contacting me though, I never really heard about them ever since, maybe just some updates through my little brother. My life feels much better, even though I still feel hollow inside my heart.

I’m supposed to meet with Yuta hyung after my interview, so I wait for him on the café nearby his office. It didn’t take that long until he finally shows up, along with Ten hyung on his hand.

“Hi Jaehyun! Did you wait long? We’re sorry, boss just wont stop talking on the meeting.” Yuta hyung immediately flop down the couch in front of me.

“Been so long since I see you Jaehyun, you look thinner.” Ten hyung pouts. “You should visit us soon so we could feed you.”

“You know I’m not best at feeding myself, but I’m fine though, I’m healthy.” I snicker looking at them both looking at me as if they’re scanning through me. “And I didn’t wait that long, don’t worry.”

“Ahh that’s great then. How’s your interview today?” Ten hyung has his hands on the table, anticipating my answer.

“I’m doing fine, I guess. But you know, anxiety just decide to shows up even though she’s not invited.” I sip on my coffee, watching them suddenly looking at each other.

“Speaking of anxiety, did you have any intention to go have a therapy or something Jae?” Yuta hyung suddenly asked. “I mean, if you didn’t know yet, Sicheng is back in city again, and he’s working on hospital as a psychiatrist.”

“Yeah, I actually went there not knowing who’s the doctor was, and I found out it was him, and we’re kinda keep up with each other instead of doing some therapy. Just thought you want to know that Jae.” Ten hyung animatedly talks with Yuta hyung who keeps nodding beside him.

“Like how am I supposed to know that though? I mean, we didn’t contact each other since that time.” I start to feel my heart aching at the thought of that night.

“So, do you want to meet him though?” Yuta hyung start to grins at me.

“Nahh, I guess no, I don’t want to. Its still hurt hyung.” I shake my head slowly after thinking for awhile.

“Well, just in case you change your mind, he’s working at SM Hospital.” Ten hyung pats my hand. “We need to get going now though Jae, our meeting starts in 10 minutes.”

“I see. Thanks for taking your time to meet me hyung.” I smile as they bid me goodbye.

“Of course, we don’t mind. Just come visit us sometime, you really need a proper meal Jaehyun.” Yuta hyung pats my head as they both heading out.

“Yeah yeah sure.”

And I was left alone again. Sicheng is back in town. From what I know, he really moved back to China after we graduate. Its been 4 years, I can’t help but wonder how he’s doing though. My heart still aching at the thought of him walking away from me so sudden, but I guess my curiosity and the way I long for him are dominating more. Guess I would just swallow my pride and give him a quick visit. Probably not necessarily as friends or ex, it could be just a talk between a doctor and patient. Yeah, guess that will do for now.

Without myself knowing, now I’m standing in front of SM Hospital. And I’ve called before to make an appointment with dr. Dong Sicheng. My heart starts to beat faster at the thought of seeing the love of my life again. Ever since he left me, I never really moved on from him. He still has my whole heart.

After a while, the nurse called my name to go in the room. And there it is, I see him in his doctor robe, sitting elegantly on his chair. He hasn’t changed yet, the only thing that changed are probably his body isn’t that thin like the way it used to be, he’s more build now. His face beaming, probably feeling proud that he gets to work at this prestigious hospital. Sicheng hasn’t realize my presence, still busy writing something down his book.

“Have a seat please, Mr. Jung… Jaehyun?” Sicheng finally see me, and I could see his eye gaze changes. “What can I help you today sir?”

“Sicheng.” My words got stuck in my throat. “Its been a while.”

“Jaehyun, do you get here to have a talk with me as doctor – patient relationship or something else?” Sicheng start to take a deep sigh.

“Something else I guess.” I can’t get myself looking at him, so I keep looking down.

Sicheng start to laugh, that beautiful laugh that I miss so much, and he start to talks again, “Its funny, since Yuta hyung told me you didn’t want to meet me. What makes you change your mind?”

“I don’t know. I guess I miss you, even though I can’t forget that night. It still hurt as hell.” I start to lean on my back, seeing Sicheng start to frowns.

“Jaehyun, I thought I made it clear.”

“No, Sicheng, you’re not. I know you’re lying back then. The Sicheng I see that night is not my Sicheng. If my Sicheng really get fall out love from me, he’ll say it in my face loud and clear, but you didn’t do that. I know there’s something wrong about that. Please just tell me what’s the truth Sicheng, so I could go on with my life.” I feel my voice start shaking as I’m suppressing my tears.

“I do that to protect you Jaehyun, to make you happy. Please don’t make me regret my decision even more.” I could feel Sicheng looking at me with his sad eyes.

“Then tell me what happened before that Sicheng.”

“Your mum, we have conversation.” I could feel Sicheng take a deep breath before he continues on. “She told me to leave you for good, that I didn’t deserve you, that the only thing that would make you happy is for me to leave you. At first I didn’t want to listen to that crappy words. But she really pushes through my limits. She even offers me some money if I leave you.”

“And you choose the money over me?”

“No, I don’t want to take that money. Instead I asked her to give you freedom that you’ve always wanted, to make you be able to pursue your own happiness. After all, all I ever want is for you to be happy Jaehyun, with me or without me. Its sad that it happened without me though. But I always try to think that you’re happy out there, to make me feel a bit better.” Sicheng concludes his story with calm.

I start to see him in disbelief, “No, you didn’t do that. Oh my God Sicheng. I prefer you to stay beside me instead of to have my parents giving me a freedom. As long as I’m with you, I feel free and I feel happy. You didn’t have to walk away at that night and leave me heartbroken. My hearts keep longing for you every single night.”

“Jaehyun, I love you so much that I need to make that decision. I’m a coward too I guess. If only I’m a little braver, I would stay with you and risk my whole life, I don’t even care if I get killed just because I’m a poor boy falling in love with a whole CEO’s son. But once again, I’m a coward. And thinking that you keep telling me how desperately you want that freedom, I guess I just need to do that. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you the truth back then.” Sicheng try to reach for my hand, and he start to squeeze it.

“Sicheng, I spend the rest of my life after that with a hollow in my heart. Yes, I’m free and I could pursue my happiness as I always wanted to, but its just so empty without you beside me. You didn’t understand how hard it is for me.” I start to sobs without me knowing it.

“Trust me, I try to do whatever method they teach me at uni just to make my longing for you gone or even just lessens, and I failed miserably. I miss you every single day, I start to question my whole decisions. And guess as I see you know, I once again regret every single thing I’ve done.” Sicheng now stroking my hands, as if he tries to make me stop sobbing.

“And now what am I supposed to do with that information Sicheng?” I asked him as I see him in the eyes. His eyes are always so beautiful, so mesmerising.

“Its up to you Jaehyun. You’re the one who could make a decision for your life. You already know I’m bad at that.” I could see Sicheng starting to tear up, and it breaks my heart. “I always be here though, take your time.”

“Thank you.”

And this time I’m the one who turns my back at him and walked away.

And after I close the door, I could hear Sicheng sobbing from outside his room, I need to control myself not to go in again and throw myself at him. Sicheng’s right, I need to take my time.

I’m just seating there at the lobby, feeling confused with all the information I suddenly got today. Suddenly, the phone of the lobby starts ringing, and not long after that, they announce that dr. Sicheng isn’t in a good condition today and that he need to reschedule his therapy with all these patients soon.

And there he is, I see Sicheng, still in his doctor robe, walks pass by the lobby with a mask in his face and a puffy eye. Looking at the sight, I guess I have my answers already.

 

* * *

 

That night, after asking Yuta hyung, I finally went to Sicheng’s apartment. Knocking on his door, nervously waiting for him to open up.

After what it feels like 15 minutes or something (yes, I’m dramatic, its not actually 15 minutes), Sicheng finally opened up the door with a shocked look on his face.

“Oh, Jaehyun? Come in.” He let me went in first. And after I went in, I wait for him until he turned around.

I finally throw myself to hug him, feeling his body tense at first before finally relaxing and return my hug.

“I miss you so much, I think I’m going crazy if I’m not around you after meeting you like that.”

Sicheng strokes my hair and rubs my back, “So you decide already? Thought I told you to take your time. I don’t want you to make a wrong decision, I don’t want you to suffer.”

“As if you don’t know that I’ll suffer more if I’m not around you.”

“You sure about this Jae? I still feel so bad after what I’ve done. And what about your parents?” Sicheng try to pull away from me and look me in the eyes.

“I don’t care about them, and they told me to just go on with my life freely, so I’m also free to choose who I want to be with. And I’ll search for a job with decent salary so I could make money on my own too.” I once again hold Sicheng closer. “I just want to be with you.”

“I love you so much Jaehyun, nothing ever changes.” Sicheng whispers that into my ears.

“I love you so much too Sicheng. I’m glad you walked in to my life again.”

Sicheng smiles and rewards me with tons of kisses and cuddles that night, that was the best decision of my life.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading it until the end;-; i really appreciate it if you leave any kudos or comments uwu, i'll see you later on my next fics♡ 
> 
> hit me on [twt](https://twitter.com/hyukshao) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/monbaebae) and lets be friends!


End file.
